ACW-UA POETRY : "Grief" by Chyna. Have you ever felt grief and pain that you feel that your world is end,then you have to read GRIEF.

GRIEF.

Have you ever lost someone?
Someone who literally meant the world to you?
A husband? A wife? Mom? Dad? Both parents? A sibling? A friend? A child? A lover?

What comes next? 
Grief.

An emotion even heartbreak couldn't compete with.
Grief is heartbreak with severe heartache.
Grief is being blinded by darkness and never once seeing the light.
Grief is denial,
Grief is numbness,
Grief is emptiness,
Grief is pain, pain beyond words,
Grief is what makes a grown man cry in front of his kids. 
No,It can't be hidden.

How do you live in a world without your world?

All the plans to hustle and cruise together...gone
I'll work hard in school, graduate and buy MaMa a house...gone
You'll be my chief bridesmaid and also my best woman...gone
Popcy's next birthday is going to be loud...gone
We'll go boat riding for our next anniversary...gone 
I can't wait to see my son, he's already on his way home...gone 
My sister turns 18 next year, her hospital days are over...gone
Nothing can ever keep us apart, I love you...gone

It's usually unbelievable, shocking and unexpected,
But even when you see it coming,
It doesn't make it any easier, The impact is still the same. Pain.

I kissed my wife goodbye this morning, just before she went to work...If I had known it'd be our last kiss?...I'd kiss her all day to keep her with me and prevent the accident from happening.

I had a friend, a brother even. We were going to hustle and make that money and MaMa proud. That has always been the dream and the goal. I saw him 2 days ago. Today, I wrote a RIP under his photo.

You'd think that after the doctor told us she had only 3 months left we'd be prepared for this. With each passing day, she looked like she had won her illness, she looked healthy and happy until she didn't wake up.

I was still a kid when I lost my grandmother. The only thing I remember from her burial was my dad wiping away his teary eyes when he thought no one was watching.

She'd always imagined her wedding day from small. Her dad would give her away with a proud smile at the alter and go to stand next to her mum who'd be the most exceptional woman in the room and the happiest after her. This imagination can't be actualized now, she became an orphan at 19.

You'll feel your world shake,
It will tumble.
South becomes East, and West becomes North.
There's no light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
You're alive but not living.
You become numb and void,
Like a hollow, a shadow of yourself.
Life in itself won't make sense anymore 

He was a good guy, he was nice to everyone, so why him?

She's so young, She has her whole life ahead of her, so why?

It should have been me, It should have been me damnit, they didn't deserve this.

You go to bed everyday with hopes of waking up from that nightmare, You believe it's all just in your head, a bad dream at most. Then you wake up and reality hits you yet again, You breakdown, all over again and weep.
Have you ever lost someone?
Someone who literally meant the world to you?
A husband? A wife? Mom? Dad? Both parents? A sibling? A friend? A child? A lover?

What comes next? 
Grief.

An emotion even heartbreak couldn't compete with.
Grief is heartbreak with severe heartache.
Grief is being blinded by darkness and never once seeing the light.
Grief is denial,
Grief is numbness,
Grief is emptiness,
Grief is pain, pain beyond words,
Grief is what makes a grown man cry in front of his kids. 
No,It can't be hidden.

How do you live in a world without your world?

All the plans to hustle and cruise together...gone
I'll work hard in school, graduate and buy MaMa a house...gone
You'll be my chief bridesmaid and also my best woman...gone
Popcy's next birthday is going to be loud...gone
We'll go boat riding for our next anniversary...gone 
I can't wait to see my son, he's already on his way home...gone 
My sister turns 18 next year, her hospital days are over...gone
Nothing can ever keep us apart, I love you...gone

It's usually unbelievable, shocking and unexpected,
But even when you see it coming,
It doesn't make it any easier, The impact is still the same. Pain.

I kissed my wife goodbye this morning, just before she went to work...If I had known it'd be our last kiss?...I'd kiss her all day to keep her with me and prevent the accident from happening.

I had a friend, a brother even. We were going to hustle and make that money and MaMa proud. That has always been the dream and the goal. I saw him 2 days ago. Today, I wrote a RIP under his photo.

You'd think that after the doctor told us she had only 3 months left we'd be prepared for this. With each passing day, she looked like she had won her illness, she looked healthy and happy until she didn't wake up.

I was still a kid when I lost my grandmother. The only thing I remember from her burial was my dad wiping away his teary eyes when he thought no one was watching.

She'd always imagined her wedding day from small. Her dad would give her away with a proud smile at the alter and go to stand next to her mum who'd be the most exceptional woman in the room and the happiest after her. This imagination can't be actualized now, she became an orphan at 19.

You'll feel your world shake,
It will tumble.
South becomes East, and West becomes North.
There's no light at the end of the tunnel anymore.
You're alive but not living.
You become numb and void,
Like a hollow, a shadow of yourself.
Life in itself won't make sense anymore 

He was a good guy, he was nice to everyone, so why him?

She's so young, She has her whole life ahead of her, so why?

It should have been me, It should have been me damn'it, they didn't deserve this.

You go to bed everyday with hopes of waking up from that nightmare, You believe it's all just in your head, a bad dream at most. Then you wake up and reality hits you yet again, You breakdown, all over again and weep.


BACKGROUND OF THE POETRY

Well, I got inspired to write this piece from a friend. I came online one day to see a lot of heartbreaking and disturbing posts on his status so I slid into his dm to ask him what had happen. He told me he lost a friend, a brother even, someone who two of them dat down together to make plans to hustle, plans to make MaMa proud. He said he heard from the guy like two days or so ago, only for him to come online and write a RIP under his photo that very day. He couldn't believe it.
Then I called him, like actual phone call to know how he was fairing, And I tell you what I heard on the other end of the phone was heartbreaking, he was crying. Like he was crying really bad and It took me a bit by suprise cause this guy in question is synonymous to happiness. So after I dropped the call, I sat and tried to imagine what losing someone really close to you or someone who means the world to you would feel like, I tried to think of the weight of the pain and all that. It was while I was writing that I remembered that I've only seen my dad cry once in my entire life, when he thought no one was watching, it was on his mother's burial (my grandma). I was little then but I can still remember it cause it was the first time I saw a grown man cry. Then I thought of other kinds of death that could cause a serious void in a person or a family even. Losing a wife, a husband, parents, siblings, lover. etc. Grief is something that can't even be measured cause it hits people differently, but one thing is for certain, the pain is bound to be unbearable and will last a while.


Emmanuel Chioma Judith. 
27th, March, 2020.
© ACW-UA POETRY.